I Miss God - Wandering for 40 years?

Every night before my daughter's bedtime we read a story from "The Beginner's Bible." Of course it's very simplified (and if I was completely honest... watered down) but I'm always amazed at how re-reading the stories I have come to know like the back of my hand still strike me in different ways.

Last night we were reading about the Israelites and how they wandered for 40 years. Man. That's crazy talk. I feel like I've been searching around for WAY too long all ready... I certainly hope I don't have 36 more years of this to go!

Even still, it was somewhat of an encouragement to me. We're not alone. We're not freaks of spirituality. We're human. We're on a journey. And I have faith that we'll get there at some point! Keep one foot in front of the other until then!

I Miss God... Prone to Wander

The words of the late Robert Robinson (1735-1790) rang true as someone played this beautiful melody on the guitar this weekend. I was singing to my baby girl and to be honest, by brain was on auto pilot until my heart heard the words my mouth was forming. "Let thy goodness like a fetter bind my wandering heart to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love."

To be honest I STILL wrestle with the notion that I have gone anywhere. But one thing is certain- something has changed. find great comfort in knowing it's not just me who feels this.. it's you too. It's all the people still googling "I Miss God" and commenting on a post I made a couple years ago. It's all of humanity that has walked on before us.


Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

1. Come, thou Fount of every blessing,
tune my heart to sing thy grace;
streams of mercy, never ceasing,
call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet,
sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it,
mount of thy redeeming love.

2. Here I raise mine Ebenezer;
hither by thy help I'm come;
and I hope, by thy good pleasure,
safely to arrive at home.
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
wandering from the fold of God;
he, to rescue me from danger,
interposed his precious blood.

3. O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to thee.
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love;
here's my heart, O take and seal it,
seal it for thy courts above.

I Miss God... The community

So many people have left comments saying it's nice to know they aren't alone. Someone sent me this verse today and when I read the surrounding scripture... it seemed to be a message to our little community of misfits!

Maybe this is for you, maybe not. But just wanted to let you know... you're not alone! Keep searching. I LOVE verse 24. Sometimes you just have to believe what you can't feel!

Jude 1 (NLT)

20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit,21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God's love.
22 And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. 23 Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others,* but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.*
24 Now all glory to God, who is able to keep you from falling away and will bring you with great joy into his glorious presence without a single fault.25 All glory to him who alone is God, our Savior through Jesus Christ our Lord. All glory, majesty, power, and authority are his before all time, and in the present, and beyond all time! Amen.

I miss God... so I will realize I need him?

On my way home last night, I was thinking again about how I miss God. Things used to seem so perfect, but I wouldn't necessarily say they were genuine at times. I'd like to think I've grown over the years in my understanding of a personal relationship as opposed to just following the guidelines I was taught. Processing that REALLY made me miss God even more. Seems like just when I finally felt that I was beginning to know Him personally instead of just have a good knowledge of sound doctrine everything came to a screeching halt.

I don't know what your situation is. We might have completely different stories. I've been blessed with a pretty easy life. I was raised in the shelters of church, private schools, and a Christian home. I was taught to do the right things so I did. I have no regrets. I just think I found "safe" and rarely veered into the unknown.

As I processed through that a new thought occurred to me, maybe I'm going through this so I will actually realize that I need Him. Not just miss Him. Need Him.

What do you think?

I Miss God - the waiting

Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act.

~ Psalm 37:7, NLT

I Miss God... Wander vs Wonder

I used to wander off until you disciplined me; but now I closely follow your word.

~ Psalm 119:67, NLT

Found this verse very interesting. Who knows, maybe one day I'll be saying this. But for now, I don't think I've wandered from God as much as I've just wondered why things seem so different. Either way, I just long for that close feeling again.

I Miss God... the continuing journey

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

~ Jeremiah 29:13, NLT

It's verses like this that encourage, frustrate, and intrigue me. I miss Him so much and yet I know He's speaking to me in small ways still. Even like receiving this verse in an email from an old friend who has no idea that I've been going through this for so long.

Encouraging- because I know it's true and that at some point, I'll find Him

Frustrating- because I don't understand what's standing in the way of me finding Him now

Intriguing- because I know He knows all of this and we're still walking it out

Yesterday I went to church for the first time in a while and Rita Springer, one of my favorite worship leaders, was leading the music. She sang a song I hadn't heard before but the words ROCKED because it's exactly how I feel in this time... I'm here. I'm not going anywhere... I just wish I could "feel" You more, God. I can't find the lyrics online, I think it's a new song but the main hook of the chorus just said

"I am in this forever."

It's true... I am.

I just wish it was easier or more clearly outlined sometimes, but even still... I am in this forever.