Friday, October 19, 2007

Priorities, Necessities, Dreams, and Distractions

I've been having such an inner crisis with myself for the past month or so. Sparing you the whiny details, I (like every other human being) struggle with balancing priorities, necessities, dreams, and distractions. Pretty much in that order. The tension is unrelenting. What do you do with that?

If you've read the past few entries here, it's no secret that I've been trudging through this journey. It's not for lack of desire. I wouldn't even say lack of effort. I know that God sees me right where I am. There's obviously something to be uncovered here in this waiting. It's getting almost humorous. I'm just awkwardly waiting here. Still sweating it out. I'm desperate for a breakthrough. Yep. He knows it. But, I am still waiting. He is still silent. It's unnerving.

One of the verses from church this morning brought me a lot of hope.

Psalm 145:19
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him; He also will hear their cry and save them.

There you have it. Enough hope to keep on waiting! I'm kind of eager to see how this will all go down. I'll keep you posted!

Hear the sermon: The Fear That Blesses


Friday, October 5, 2007

In My Absence

In my recent absence from this space, there has been a lot going on. A lot. I've wanted to write so many times. But, I can't explain it. I just couldn't. I'd try to think of something clever. Nothing. I'd try to just post something real. I just couldn't.

I started reading another blog. A blog of some friends. I am so inspired by their story. I am so inspired by her writing. They just had a baby and have lost her to a chromosomal disorder. I should have posted this for you all to read sooner. But, please check out the link or find it in my "Lani Links" section and pray for them if God puts it on your heart.

While I sat in Copeland's Memorial service we sang hymns I've heard a thousand times. But in that moment I was so keenly aware of eternity- I listened with new ears. They touched me in the deepest place of my heart. Of all the songs to catch me of guard... "Jesus Paid It All."

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy power and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down
All down at Jesus’ feet.

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Jesus. He's real. He's everything he said he was. He's the only reason to have hope in spite of tragedy.


I Miss God

I was just thinking today how much I miss God. On my way to work today I passed a flashing sign that said:

Romans 11:29
for the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable.

And then when I got to work someone sent me this verse:

Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness.
Colossians 2:7, NLT

Funny that out of no where I get those two random verses. I guess he misses me too.