I've had my share of work experience over the years.... from life guarding to accounting and a variety of jobs in between. I've punched my time card in the Corporate, Small Business, and Self Employment machine. Still, I entered the world of music management ill prepared.
I recently reached a breaking point. My back and neck were constantly stiff. At some point each day my stomach would end up in knots. I thought through scenarios instead of falling asleep. I became a walking complain-a-thon. Work stress. fun.
I recounted some of the wretched details with a friend last week. Relieved that the stress is now only a bad memory, we laughed at the whole crazy situation. I'm not going to lie... I hope I NEVER have to deal with something that complex again. However, talking it over made me realize something. Something I don't want to acknowledge. Something good.
I came to the point where I realized I couldn't even do my job with out God's help. That was a new concept to me. Until that time, if I needed God's help it was because I needed a better attitude towards the difficult people that came across my path. I'll just say it... the stupid people. I didn't really need His help to perform my actual tasks. Wrong-O. wrong. wrong.
I was so busy I wasn't getting to bed on time. Since I wasn't getting to bed on time, I wasn't getting any time to myself in the mornings. I was squeezing out every last nano-second of sleep before I had to get up. I was literally on autopilot- work, eat, sleep, repeat . The perfect formula for a meaningful life. Right.
I had to make a change. I had to get up earlier, exercise and hang with God. The prompting of a friend and my husband confirmed it. But, how could I possibly do that? I had no energy all ready. I was exhausted! The first week, I gave it a try. Wow. It worked. I don't feel terrible. The second week... the same... and so the cycle began. The past several months, these common sense steps have pulled me through.
Looking back, I had to live through the stress to understand my need for God at work. Sad. But, that's how I learned. I cringe to admit that the bad turned out for good. It's so cliche, I want to roll my eyes. But, it's true. To add one more to the cliche pile... I guess I've learned that when the going gets tough... the tough get "growing."