It's my party and I'll cry if I want to

On the eve of my 28th birthday... I am reflecting back over the birthday memories of years past. I've celebrated in so many different ways. Each unique and memorable... but, the one that stands out most to me is my 8th birthday. The one that, at the time, I would say was the WORST! I laugh now remembering:

We had only lived in Georgia about 6 months. I was so excited to have all of my new friends come over. Pizza, games, friends… what more could an 8 yr old want? Everything was going spectacular until table hockey became more popular than me. What’s worse is my friends didn’t want to listen to my rules about how the games should go. Worse than that my parents didn’t make everyone stop and do it my way. They were all seriously disrespecting the birthday girl!

I know you are starting to feel really sorry for me. Thank you. Yeah right… what a brat! I should have been having the time of my life. The fading 35mm pictures spell it out clearly. I am sitting on the couch while a half dozen wide eyed girls are hovering over the hockey game. I missed out on the joy of my own birthday because I got wrapped up in myself.

Twenty years later, the sad truth is my selfish nature hasn’t really changed that much. It’s just that all of the variables have changed. It’s not usually about friends and games anymore, it’s about opportunities, possessions and well, yeah… still friends and family.

The good news is... I’m learning that I have to take responsibility for myself. There’s only one person I can force to change. Her name is Lani. I’m learning the beauty of other options. I’m learning that there are many ways besides my way.

I wonder how many more of candles I'll blow out before I really get the hang of this thing. Baby steps... baby steps!

LC