On The Road Again

This weekend I found myself in a van for 20 out of my 48 hours off . Road Trip with Pocket. I rarely get to go on these anymore, so I jumped at the opportunity fully aware of the price. The price? 1 van, 10 people, 10 hours, 1 sitting position, 6 greasy fast food meal opportunities and luggage abounding. My body was less than thankful but, I survived.

We pulled up to the church and I was the last one out of the van. A familiar face peeked in and asked, "What's your name?" I re- introduced myself, "I'm Lani." "I'm Keith", he said. Awkward pause and he was gone as quickly as he appeared.

I tried to get back in the swing of things by helping set up the merch table. Admittedly rusty in all my previous duties... I tried to re-familiarize myself with everything.

Once that was done I went inside the auditorium and waited for sound check to end. Keith came up to me and began to tell me his story. "I had to jog my memory a little, but it's all coming back to me. When you were here last time about three years ago, Michael had everyone pray for me and you came up and prayed for me to have a wife. The funny thing was that I had just been on a first date with a girl the week before and I knew there was something different. We got married and she's here tonight."

Well, I remember the story different. I remember Michael asking everyone to gather around and pray for Keith. I remember the pounding in my chest. I remember a few phrases popped in my head that I knew weren't from me. I remember each terrified step towards the front of the church. I remember every word that came out of my mouth. Every word except... the words that seem to have made the biggest difference!

As he was thanking me for praying I couldn't have been more bewildered. I vaguely remember the wife prayer. Honestly, that's not even like me. I don't get my kicks out of match making. How in the world was he not most impacted by all the other "powerful" things that I was lead to say? It further confirms that I have no idea what I'm doing!

Being on the road again was a great reminder of my tiny, yet significant place in the grand scheme of things.

Keepin' It Real

I laughed today when I found this very honest, very real prayer in an old journal entry. It kind of tied in with "The Thrill of The Chase." I thought I'd be extremely transparent and post it just in case anyone needed to know that it's ok to pray what's really in your heart.

"God- why do I feel like such crap inside? I need more of You.
You’re kingdom- it’s coming. What am I going to do with my life?
Why am I letting everything be so hard? Yuck- it’s all I feel.
Am I doing anything at all that is real? Eternal Reality?
God, give me a heart that honors You.
I want to seek You with all of my heart. "

I've probably prayed similar prayers a million times, maybe worded a little more reverently... but these are the questions my heart is always asking. I have a feeling that somehow even in these moments that there is more going on than I can see. I think my roll in eternity is developing more every day even when I don't "feel" it. I'm just trying to keep it real!

LC