Remember tearing wildly through the playground chasing after a classmate? The pursuit itself was the adrenaline rush, nevermind who was actually able to catch up.
Lately I've been feeling a little lazy, a little lost, a little left out spiritually speaking. It's extremely frustrating. Just a year ago I was hearing the voice of God more clearly than ever before. And now.... nada. zippo. Maybe an occasional twinge of His presence, but for the most part the silence has settled in. Where did He go? He was just right here and now I don't know where He went. What did I do? Maybe I "wandered away" or did something so awful He had to leave. So now what?
A few weeks ago my eyes fell on these ancient words "Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek Him" -I Chronicles 16:11. (Guilt and Shame enter stage right.) Unexpectedly, in the moment just before i began to beat myself up, a thought popped in my head that radically changed my understanding of the words. It became clear that if I'm being told to "Search for the Lord" then God must be the one on the move... or I wouldn't have to seek Him! Maybe it's not my screw ups that chased Him away. Maybe it's more like a game of chase that little children play and I'm the one pouting on the sidelines because I couldn't keep up. I got tired and worn out or just distracted from chasing Him... which brings me to the next amazing part of the verse that says "search for the Lord and for His strength." What? He knows that I get tired and distracted? I can find strength and focus to keep going? Ooops! I've just been searching for the Lord but definitely not for the strength to do it. It totally makes sense that I tucker out. Which brings us to the amazing ending of the verse. "Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him." If I really tapped into His strength, I would be able to continually seek Him. Wow.
Recap:
- Continually seek Him = He is the one who is always moving.
- He's moving = I need to get up and follow Him.
- Ability to keep chasing = strength from Him.
I wish I could say that since this amazing revelation, I've conquered this. I've still barely begun to apply the lesson... but, I'm seriously thinking about dusting myself off and losing the pouty lip. Every time I see Him whizzing by, it breathes life into me.
Things aren't that different from when I was young. It's still the thrill of the chase that keeps me wanting more.
LC
Lately I've been feeling a little lazy, a little lost, a little left out spiritually speaking. It's extremely frustrating. Just a year ago I was hearing the voice of God more clearly than ever before. And now.... nada. zippo. Maybe an occasional twinge of His presence, but for the most part the silence has settled in. Where did He go? He was just right here and now I don't know where He went. What did I do? Maybe I "wandered away" or did something so awful He had to leave. So now what?
A few weeks ago my eyes fell on these ancient words "Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek Him" -I Chronicles 16:11. (Guilt and Shame enter stage right.) Unexpectedly, in the moment just before i began to beat myself up, a thought popped in my head that radically changed my understanding of the words. It became clear that if I'm being told to "Search for the Lord" then God must be the one on the move... or I wouldn't have to seek Him! Maybe it's not my screw ups that chased Him away. Maybe it's more like a game of chase that little children play and I'm the one pouting on the sidelines because I couldn't keep up. I got tired and worn out or just distracted from chasing Him... which brings me to the next amazing part of the verse that says "search for the Lord and for His strength." What? He knows that I get tired and distracted? I can find strength and focus to keep going? Ooops! I've just been searching for the Lord but definitely not for the strength to do it. It totally makes sense that I tucker out. Which brings us to the amazing ending of the verse. "Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him." If I really tapped into His strength, I would be able to continually seek Him. Wow.
Recap:
- Continually seek Him = He is the one who is always moving.
- He's moving = I need to get up and follow Him.
- Ability to keep chasing = strength from Him.
I wish I could say that since this amazing revelation, I've conquered this. I've still barely begun to apply the lesson... but, I'm seriously thinking about dusting myself off and losing the pouty lip. Every time I see Him whizzing by, it breathes life into me.
Things aren't that different from when I was young. It's still the thrill of the chase that keeps me wanting more.
LC
4 comments:
I think you should write a book or a womans devotional. So I have something good to study! ;-)
Wow! Look at you daring past your imperfections.
life is so interesting it takes you sooo many places and it has so many things to overcome. i have felt like you before in fact i feel like that now. i strugle all of the time to pick myself off and the weird thing is nothing is wrong in my life i am "good" i love God he is my friend i just get into a place where maybe i feel like i am doing everything "ok but maybe like you are saying i am just being lazy maybe i need to be MORE THAN OK!! well anyhow although you lesson is great i think it is a lesson we all learn over and over! thanks for your moments of kindness.
great insight. I love that illustration about the thrill of being chased. I think its kind of like when you first start dating, we as women love to be pursued by the guy so I think we carry that over in our spiritual life, wanting God to pursue us when we need to pursue him. Like we learned many years ago from the study Experiencing God, "see where He is working and join Him." Things have been crazy here lately with Steve's family. Nancy's cancer is back, his parents aren't doing well and we have moved them to Pa. to a nursing home and now his dad is in the hospital not knowing how much longer he has. so with travel back and forth it is so easy to forget to continue to chase Him and seek His strength. Thanks for the encouraging word. love and miss ya
Post a Comment